Replacing Us With Two Dobermans?

This is a picture of our adopted human companion the first time he picked up Cody when my cousin was still on the outside. (See Cody's Story for the details). Because this man was clueless about cats, our kind refers to him as a "feral human" that needs to be carefully and patiently trained to become a cat person. We were making good progress with this one when we recently had a frightening setback. The human was going to replace us with two Dobermans! Just when we were making a breakthrough in his training! He now promptly wakes up in the morning when we jump up and wrestle on the bed. He’s been trained to clean the litter boxes three times a day or we pee on the floor to punish him. When we run into the living room, meow and look up at him, he’s been trained to feed us our favorite treats. Things were going well and then he read a magazine article that said men who own cats are the sensitive and caring type! “Oh Noooo! I’ve turned into a wuss!” the human yelled as he slammed the magazine on the floor. “I"m trading in these cats and getting two Dobermans!” 

My little cousin, Cody started to cry but I told him that this outburst was a common and bothersome behavior pattern indigenous to the human species and to pay no attention. Thankfully, the human saw another article about fire departments who have adopted cats that provide stress-relief for the firefighters. And best of all, he saw that Marlon Brando, Steve McQueen and Sean Connery loved their cats. The good news is that he's now feeling all macho and in control again so we are both teaching him how to fetch all of our toys that get lost under the furniture and put them back in our toy box for us. And then.. get this.. then we told him that real men create websites for their cats and VOILA !

Submitted by Sean McDougal